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Picking Up the Pieces March 15, 2007

Posted by June in Misc..
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Yes, I know what some of you may have thought from that title; but I don’t talk about things like that.

Instead, I am here to bring to you the plight of someone who deserves to have her story told. This is the blog of the fiance of one of our brave soldiers in Iraq who paid the ultimate price for our freedom. She tells the story of life after death in this life. Her writing is powerful and moving. If you don’t cry when you read her blog,  I don’t know who you are.

Cool, Calm & Collected… 

Current Worries…

As I write this blog, I wonder if anyone will even read it… I am no one important by any means!

But, I will write as if someone is reading very intently.

Well, My fiancee was just killed in Iraq on 08 Feb 07…

My life has been a blur since. I am not blaming anyone (except the flipping Muslims…) But I just have so many questions that cannot have an answer to them.

-Was he in pain?

-What were his last words?

-Was he thinking about me?

-Did he have time to think?

-Did he see it coming?

Most of all:

WHY?!?!?!?!?!

I love God with all my heart, I really do… This just all seems so unfair! We did everything right from the start, and now I have nothing to look forward to in my life! Talk about depressing… I went from planning a wedding to a funeral…

I know God has a plan, though. He always does. & It’s usually better than what we had in mind anyways… But I cannot imagine life any better than what it was! Jim wasn’t perfect- but he was perfect for ME….

So now my prayer is that God would make himself clear to me. I told him I am willing to do anything & go anywhere… I just need him to make it crystal clear for me.

And I wonder how I’ll do in the love area? I am only 19 years old. Still young enough that I have a (hopefully) long life ahead of me- Will I have bars across my heart for fear of being hurt again? Will I even have the chance to love again?

I think I worry too much….

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